


All I've Waited For

by Sincestiel



Series: Tumblr Prompts [21]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Human Castiel, Kissing, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, almost anyway, slight angsting over coffee filters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 14:37:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9553058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sincestiel/pseuds/Sincestiel
Summary: And these days ‘intent’ is all Dean has when it comes to Cas.  He’s afraid to even voice all the things he intends to do with Cas.  And the scariest part to Dean is that not all of them are dirty or even sexual in nature.  There are things he wants from Cas that he’s never really let himself imagine he could ever have.  Not even when he was playing pretend with Lisa or when he was all wide-eyed and hopeful with Cassie.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For this prompt: Destiel: coffee, slow kisses, and a love confession.
> 
> This is really tame for me. So I hope it works well. I love the thought of Cas and Dean sort of migrating to each other and just going with it. Slow and careful but determined. Basically domestic, Bunker Casdean is my favorite.
> 
> Feels good to write something that's not Wincest for a change :D

Cas huffs, dropping the stack of coffee filters he’s been struggling with for the past five minutes in the floor. Dean had offered to help when he’d wandered into the kitchen rubbing at his tired eyes but Cas had been determined to make the coffee himself. They’ve been researching for a new case for the last four hours and he either needs an IV full of caffeine or a few hours of sleep before they actually hit the road. But Cas can’t seem to figure out how to peel one of the thin filters off the stack. And now he’s just standing there staring at the lot of them sitting in the floor between his feet. He looks like he’s seconds away from crying.

He’s been like that a lot recently, since realizing that his grace is ebbing, that choosing to stay here with them is draining him. He’s becoming human again. And while he still has a good working knowledge of what that means for him – being more careful in battle, brushing his teeth daily, not being able to heal them (though he can still do so for himself at the moment), showering – there are still, apparently, some things he hasn’t yet mastered. And working one coffee filter free is obviously one of those things.

That’s okay. That’s why Dean’s here. To take care of Sam and Cas. It’s the only thing he does really well.

“Hey, lemme get it, Cas.” Dean takes a step closer and bends down to pick up the coffee filters.

“They’ve been in the floor now. Shouldn’t we throw them away? It’s been longer than five seconds.”

Dean smiles and shakes his head. Holding them up, he gently blows over the top at an angle, watching Cas as he does. His head’s tilted to the side, brow furrowed, and lips pursed. That same look he’s been giving Dean for years when he’s not sure what Dean’s teaching him, but he knows it’s important. Something he desperately needs to know.

After pulling off both the top and bottom filters and tossing them in the trashcan behind him, Dean works off one more and drops it into the basket. “There you go.” With a small – but still slightly watery – smile, Cas takes both the filters and the basket from Dean. He finishes getting the coffee started and Dean doesn’t comment when he drops too much of the black granules into the filter. He likes his coffee strong anyway. And Sam’s been in bed for a few hours now so he won’t be bitching about it.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas says and, feeling bold because he knows they’re alone, Dean steps closer and rests a hand over Cas’ forearm where it’s gripping the counter beside the coffee pot. He squeezes gently, softly like he only feels comfortable doing when they’re alone.

“You’re welcome.”

Dropping his gaze down to where Dean is touching him, Cas blushes. It both excites Dean and saddens him. He loves being able to see how he affects Cas. Loves knowing this isn’t one-sided, which was one of his biggest fears and the main hold up when Cas was still powered up. He couldn’t make a move not completely sure that Cas wanted it too. There was too much potential for fucking everything up. But now he can see the ways his touch or a smile or a few kind words impacts the other man. But it’s upsetting too, because just the fact that he can see that flush spreading over Cas’ skin, just the knowledge that if Dean lifts him onto this counter to make out while the coffee brews, Cas will arch and writhe and sweat for him, means that Cas is losing something near and dear to him. He’s becoming something else and Dean knows, as much as he wants to stay here with them and that he has actively _chosen_ this, it hurts Cas to give it up.

Cas’ eyes cut up and meet Dean’s, so goddamn much blue swimming in unshed tears, and suddenly Dean needs more than just coffee or a few hours of sleep. 

“Come ‘ere,” Dean says, using the grip he has on Cas’ arm to pull him toward the kitchen table. Cas lets himself be led away from the counter without any physical protest. But he does express his concern at leaving the coffee to brew alone.

“The coffee, Dean, I should-” 

“It’ll be fine. We don’t have to watch it.”

Dean pulls out a chair and sits, bringing Cas with him so that the ex-angel ends up straddling his lap. His face instantly shows his nerves and Dean wraps both arms around his waist so that he doesn’t flee. Which he has done a time or two. If Cas wants out of his lap, Dean will let him up, he’s not sure he could hold him anyway, guy’s still got some juice when he taps into it. But what they’re doing, the kissing and the groping, it’s all so new. And despite the fact that Cas has readily admitted to wanting this for ‘some time’ he gets a little antsy when Dean touches him with any real intent.

And these days ‘intent’ is all Dean has when it comes to Cas. He’s afraid to even voice all the things he intends to do with Cas. And the scariest part to Dean is that not all of them are dirty or even sexual in nature. There are things he wants from Cas that he’s never really let himself imagine he could ever have. Not even when he was playing pretend with Lisa or when he was all wide-eyed and hopeful with Cassie.

Realizing that Dean doesn’t mean to let him run away, Cas settles over Dean’s thighs, trembling hands resting over Dean’s chest. Dean still doesn’t really understand it, the way Cas’ anxiety spikes when Dean gets him close like this. It’s not like either of them are virginal. But when Dean asked, Cas just shrugged and assured Dean he does want to be close and he really does enjoy the kissing and wants more, even. So maybe it’s more the fact that they’re finally taking after so many years wanting and hoping. Maybe it’s the reality of it crashing down on him every time, because it sure ties Dean’s stomach up in knots sometimes. In the very best of ways.

Dean pulls Cas closer, stopping just short of their crotches meeting because not only have they never gone that far before, but Dean doesn’t want to scare Cas away with the semi he’s sporting. And that’s become common place for him as of late. He spends most of his waking hours half hard and trying to keep it hidden. A few years ago he might have found being in a constant state of low simmering arousal frustrating and infuriating. But these days he’s learning to enjoy it. The slow build, the perpetual tingle in all of his extremities. The quick, hushed make out sessions that leave them both red faced and panting, breaking apart just before Sam can catch them.

Oh, Sam knows, no doubt. Dean hasn’t explicitly spelled it out for him. But Sam’s been watching them for years. He probably knew where this was headed before either of them did. Still though, there’s something thrilling in a good way (something Dean rarely gets) about the secrecy and hiding.

“I’m gonna kiss you now, Cas. Okay?” Blunt. To the point. Just the way Cas likes it and Dean is starting to appreciate. No confusion or undue heartache. Cas nods, his tongue flicking out to moisten his lips as his eyes dart down to Dean’s mouth. And his gaze is so hopeful and jittery. Like he thinks Dean might decide to _not_ kiss him instead. As if Dean could ever. Not when Cas is still on the verge of tears over a damned coffee filter. Not when he’s still so raw and frayed and just broken over the things he’s losing – the very essence of himself. Or the angel he was for millennia. Because Dean doesn’t think, for a second, that Cas is anything or anyone other than just who he’s grown to become in the last few years. Point being, Dean has no intention of passing up an opportunity to taste Cas’ lips. Ever.

Dean lets one hand wander up Cas’ back until it’s resting over his neck, fingertips just delving into the thick hair brushing the collar of Cas’ favorite old worn t-shirt that used to be Dean’s. Slowly, carefully, so goddamn tenderly that Cas gasps, Dean pulls him down just until their lips brush. Just until they’re breathing each other in. And then he opens and lets his tongue play idly across the seam of Cas’ lips.

They don’t often get to take their time like this, and Dean means to make the most of every moment. He swallows the little whimper Cas releases as he opens for Dean, his own tongue coming out shyly to mingle with Dean’s. It’s the most delicate kiss in which Dean has ever engaged and he’s terrified he’s going to screw this up. Because out of all the kisses they’ve shared over the last few weeks, this one feels like the most important all of a sudden. Which seems utterly ridiculous right up until Cas retreats with a soft smack of lips. He moves back just far enough to rest his forehead against Dean’s, their mouths only scant centimeters apart.

Into the small space separating them, Cas whipsers, “I love you, Dean Winchester.”

And what once might have scared the shit out of Dean and sent him running for the hills instead makes him shiver in delight, head to toe. Tomorrow, in the light of day, with Sam bitchfacing beside him and Cas’ knowing stare in the rearview mirror, Dean might find this moment embarrassing. He might be ashamed at how easily he gives it up. But, right now, with the smell of freshly brewed coffee ensconcing them, Cas’ steady weight holding him down, and the promise of another kiss hovering just within reach, Dean smiles.

“I love you too, Castiel.”

A smile to match Dean’s tugs at Cas’ mouth and there’s not a trace of tears left in his eyes. Dean thinks any embarrassment he might feel tomorrow is totally worth it. He pulls Cas’ mouth back to his own, ignoring the last gurgles of the coffee maker as he loses himself in the sweetness of Cas’ lips and tongue.


End file.
